"So, how are you feelingabout the Change?" I could hear the capital C.Deciding that I no longer had anything to hide I told the truth. "I amhonestly excited. I have never felt at home in my body I dealt with isas well as I could though." You could have gotten gender reassignment" No. I could never have faced what those people go through. I guess Ijust didn't have the bal... courage for something like that," I toldher thinking of all of the times that I had worried about the opinionsof people who I did not even know or care about any more."But this could kill you or perhaps wipe all of your memories. Isn'tthat worrying to you? She asked me with a serious tone."Not really Samantha, I have lived an entire life worrying about thefuture. This once I am going to try to just go with it and see whathappens. Besides I am dieing slowly as we speak. You know, I wastalking to my doctor about my options, but he was not encouraging. Theworst that could happen is better by far than anything that. It was filthy work climbing all over and underneath them and at the end of the shift I would walk the short distance home dirty and smelly. Mum, after a lifetime of working around dad’s shifts was equal to the task. She had the tin bath full of hot water ready for me in the scullery. This was no time for modesty as she was determined that I would be clean, and as I bathed she would use a scrubbing brush to remove every last grain of dirt and I suspect a few layers of skin. There would be no dirt in her home! Cleanliness was next to Godliness and mum took that mantra and translated it into fact. You could eat your dinner off the floor in her home if you could ignore the overwhelming odour of bleach. Mum kept the chemical manufacturers in business. Her hands were always chapped red from frequent immersion in the stinging liquid. The house had been built in the eighteen eighties by the Midland Railway Company for its employees. It consisted of one room and a scullery downstairs and two.
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